Your Treasure Could Be Anything
by NobleTruth
Summary: Shepard's death got in the way of their happily ever after and now they dance in circles around one another. Liara doesn't want to be a burden during the war and Shepard is unsure how to move past her resentment. The war against the Reapers is tearing the galaxy apart but also creating a bridge to mend their broken relationship. Changed the rating because its going to get feisty!
1. Chapter 1

**So... I managed to mess up the upload the first time around. Hopefully I fixed it and the entire chapter is there. Gold star for me huh? Anyway, thanks for checking out my story. I truly hope you enjoy!**

Shepard sat at the desk once occupied by Thane Krios in the life support room, a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy in one hand, and a red plastic cup in the other. The Normandy was docked into bay D-24 on the Citadel for the next forty eight hours but Shepard couldn't bring herself to enjoy the time 'off'. If you could call gathering resources for the war and returning lost items found during their trek around the galaxy, 'time off'.

After visiting a recovering Ashley Williams at Huerta, she had returned to a mostly empty ship and sought solitude outside of her cabin. After so long, the familiar place would close in on her and she needed somewhere else to clear her mind. Therefore she wandered around the Normandy until finally settling in the small quiet room where Thane had spent most of his time. Before acquiring the alcohol she had meditated for an unknown amount of time then written in her journal trying to find a way to center herself and settle her mind. It didn't work so well so she snuck into the med-bay with a promise to replace it, and took a bottle from Dr. Chakwas' stash.

After the first few swigs, the Commander had debated with herself about hunting down Tali somewhere in the galaxy. She missed her Tinker Bell fiercely and needed the quarian's compassionate ear for these types of moods. Instead of tracking her down, Shepard wrote a quick message to Tali asking about her health and what she was up to. She finished and sent it before her fingers had a chance to blabber her current dilemma.

That was probably an hour ago and now she sat, drink in hand, feeling warm and fuzzy and not as despondent as before. Perhaps she should write Samara too? The older asari had guided her many times during their times pursuing the Collectors. How many times had she sat in the starboard observation deck while Samara meditated or listened as she hummed asari songs while they played human or asari board games?

With her head laying on the cool surface of the table and eyes closed, Shepard began humming one of the asari songs she could recall from memory. She was dulled by the alcohol and didn't hear the door open or the two people shushing one another trying to hear as they entered the small space.

"Commander?" A feminine voice called to her, the distinct English accent giving away Samantha Traynor's presence.

Without opening her eyes or lifting her head she only replied, "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?

"Yes."

A few awkward seconds went by as Traynor and guest stood silently waiting for more of a response from their commanding officer, drawing a groan from Shepard when she realized they would not be leaving her alone. So she opened her eyes and sat up preparing to leave but white and blue armor caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

Shepard gathered her things, cup and bottle, hurriedly as well as clumsily and without chancing a glance at the pair, tried to walk by and escape to her cabin. She cursed herself for not going there in the first place. The entire awkward situation could have been avoided if she would have just stayed in her damn cabin. As she tried to leave, a hand caught her wrist gently yet firmly pulling her to a stop.

As much as she didn't want to, she looked over her shoulder into concerned blue eyes and immediately wished that the asari had just let her walk on. Her eyes darted to the young communication specialist who had her back turned to them as she set up the chessboard and pieces. Liara's eyes followed hers for a moment before the asari lead her toward the door about five feet away.

"What is wrong Shepard?"

"Nothing," She tried avoiding those clear ocean blue eyes but that only served to make the asari move in closer in an attempt to make eye contact.

"Why won't you look at me?" Liara asked barely above a whisper.

Being so close to Liara, feeling her body heat and breath, was not comforting in the least.

"Sam is waiting for you." The minute space separating them grew smaller as Liara stepped closer. Now face to face, Liara's hand still gripping her wrist, her delicate scent assailing the soldier's senses... It was all making Shepard... uncomfortable... and nauseous.

"Tell me why you are doing this." Liara demanded in a low voice so that Traynor wouldn't hear. "Why have you been avoiding me and only speaking with me regarding the war effort?"

Those questions sparked Shepard's anger. The absolute nerve... This, from the same person who avoided the Commander just under a year ago? She had desperately tried to get Liara to open up to her but all her pleas landed on deaf ears. Liara had simply moved on with her life and during the time they went after the Shadow Broker, Liara had made it clear they would not be rekindling their relationship because of Shepard's transgressions. Yes, Shepard had made a terrible decision a few months ago but after being pushed away for so long what was she to think? How the hell do you transgress against someone who didn't want to be part of your life in that way? And now that Shepard kept herself distant from Liara... it was a problem?

Jacob Taylor was physically the type of man she had dated before Therum. A man with sun kissed skin and warm dark eyes like her father. The body of Adonis incarnate and a deep soothing voice that made her feel warm in certain places. But he, like anyone else in the galaxy, couldn't hold a candle to a young asari maiden that not only challenged Shepard mentally but had somehow become extremely attractive to her despite her heterosexual preferences. So for one night she had chosen to be held and comforted in the arms of someone willing to share their affection before heading through a relay that not one ship outside of the Collector's ship had returned through. A night she called Liara to say goodbye but had to say to the vid messaging system.

Shepard clenched her jaw and looked Liara square in the eye, "Please spare me your false concern. You drew this line between us a while back on Illium. You left me to pick up the pieces of my heart _alone _while sending me on ridiculous missions around Illium just to keep me away. You decided it best we be _friends _way before anything ever happened between me and Jacob. You pushed me away once again after I helped you find the Shadow Broker and I pleaded for forgiveness. You never even bothered to visit me after Bahak or even write a damned message. Not to mention you have spent most of your free time with _others_."

She didn't realize her voice had grown louder until an embarrassed Traynor scurried passed them mumbling about sorting something she'd forgotten until that moment. Shepard paused until the door closed behind the small woman then turned her attention back to the asari whose eyes had flared with anger.

"You, Liara T'Soni, have no right to act like a friend now after what you've done to me. Or lack thereof depending on how you view it."

Liara's anger crested until shimmering blue energy radiated off her form. Her fists balled up by her sides and her frown deepened until she looked reminiscent of an angry Matriarch Benezia.

"What I have done to you?" Liara's voice was low and dangerous but Shepard didn't flinch as they squared off. "What I have done to you, Shepard? I put my life on the line and risked others to bring you back."

Shepard gave the asari a look of incredulity. She couldn't be serious. "Yes, Liara that statement just nullifies everything I said." She sneered as her voice turned hard as steel. In the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't say what she was opening her mouth to say but she did it anyway, "I didn't ask you to bring me back, I didn't want it... and I _hate_ that you did."

The anger that pulsed from Liara quickly deflated. Her face fell and her bottom lip slightly trembled until she drew it between her teeth. Before Shepard turned to leave, she saw the damage she had caused in those very blue eyes. If there had been the slightest chance of getting back together before that last statement... It had been killed by Shepard. It was definitely a low blow voicing her resentment for being brought back alive just because Liara didn't desire the same things that she did anymore. Shepard knew saying that would wound the asari deeply. It was a fear that Liara harbored and confided to Shepard during one of their more civilized talks. After months of isolation and pain, Shepard wanted Liara to hurt as much as she did. Truthfully she really didn't mean it. Liara was the hero that she aspired to be and she never could articulate her gratitude for what was sacrificed to bring her back.

Feeling weighed down and empty inside, Shepard entered the elevator and hit the button for the captain's quarter. Her stomach churned and she swallowed repeatedly to keep from heaving. Leaning back against the wall she took a few steading breaths and leaned her head on the cool steel surface for relief. What was the purpose of all this anger and grief when everyone could be dead tomorrow? As sick as she felt, she took another pull from the bottle of brandy as the thoughts kept streaming through her mind.

The lift finally reached her quarters and she stumbled in to her suite. She needed the bathroom. Shepard splashed cool water on her face and held back the urge to vomit once again. She looked up into the mirror with each hand braced on the sink. Her caramel skin looked pale and her emerald eyes dull. She could see small fissures of orange across her face and the slightest orange glow behind her pupils.

"What a beautiful person you are Shepard. Both inside and out." Shepard sarcastically addressed herself in the mirror. "And you always know the sweetest things to say. Especially to an ex that you are still head over heels for. That's the way to win her back tiger!"

She looked down and shook her head. Shame flooded through the Commander until she felt it was unbearable. She left the bathroom and dropped down on her bed. She'd rather dream about that godforsaken little boy than to deal with the reality of crushing the heart of the one person who meant the most to her.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard's eyes cracked open slowly to a dull throb in her skull and a cramp in her neck. She attempted but failed to stretch it out before rolling over to sit on the side of the bed. To be honest she was surprised her head wasn't hurting as bad as she thought it should have after drinking most of the bottle of brandy alone. With a huff she stood, wincing slightly as she made her way to the bathroom. Her thoughts drifted to the scenario from yesterday and felt the immediate urge to ram her head into the wall.

How could she be that damn idiotic? It was out of cowardice that she treated Liara the way that she had, regardless of how loose the alcohol made her tongue. Shepard always prided herself on remaining rational and in control of her emotions no matter the situation. Not only had she allowed her emotions to run amok, she'd done it in front of another person. Her damned communications specialist was privy to the current state of her personal relationship with Liara. How rude and unprofessional could she be?

She stepped up to the mirror that had witnessed her shame the night before and began to brush her teeth. The need to apologize to Liara created an ache of anxiety within her chest that bubbled up and constricted her throat. The cycle of pain had to end. Her need to lash out and cause misery because of her own misery was just too exhausting; too destructive.

Liara had brought out the best in her from the moment they became friends. Shepard had spent so much time helping the archeologist sort through ancient relics and researching the conduit during their time chasing after Saren that she couldn't help but become enchanted. Loving Liara was so natural it was like second nature and their relationship progressed without much effort. But then again there are two sides to a coin and she soon learned when it came to Liara, Shepard could be the coldest person she's ever been. More ruthless than when she was a member of the Reds. Anyone out of their mind enough to cause harm to the young asari was basically destroyed and yet here she was years later being the main antagonist to the one she protected fiercely.

Shepard stepped over to the shower berating herself out loud. The Reapers were tearing the galaxy to shreds and she actively chose to harbor and clutch to the heartbreak of losing the first person she had honestly ever fallen in love with. She could only hope Liara would be willing to hear her apology. Given her behavior, how could she blame the asari if she sent her away?

After a thoughtful shower, she dressed and checked her messages quickly. Shepard hoped she could catch Liara before she had breakfast so that she could bring a peace offering in the common language of food.

"EDI?"

{_Yes, Shepard_} came EDI's quick reply over the speakers.

"Has Liara eaten the morning meal yet?"

{_Dr. T'Soni is currently not aboard the Normandy. Would you like for me to send her a message?_}

Shepard ran a hand through her hair and chewed on her lip as she thought of a new plan. "No, that won't be necessary EDI. Thanks anyway."

{_Commander?_}

"Yeah EDI?"

{_Specialist Traynor is on her way to the mess hall_}

"You're nosey as hell, EDI." Despite her tone Shepard smiled and headed for the elevator.

* * *

Shepard stepped off the elevator onto the crew deck and fixed a smile to her face. She rounded the corner to the kitchen and began preparing a plate of breakfast from the small buffet. She made small talk with the few crew members milling around and searched for a seat at the mostly empty tables. Her eyes scanned the available tables until landing on a lone small figure looking as if they wanted to disappear. She made her way toward the woman who ducked her head down and shoveled food into her mouth.

"Mind if I join you Sam?" Before Shepard's inebriated catastrophe last night, she and the woman had shared a blossoming friendship. She could only hope that she could begin to salvage the relationships she had ridiculously jeopardized, starting with this one.

Dark eyes peeked up at her with a cautious smile, "No, not at all Commander. I was just about finished."

Shepard didn't hide her disappointment. "I was hoping to talk with you. Would you mind staying while I eat? I'll cover for you with the boss if you're late back to your post." She said winking and earning a more genuine smile from Traynor.

"I don't think my boss would mind much being that I'm off duty today." Shepard chuckled in response as she chewed a forkful of eggs and studied Samantha. She could tell the younger woman was growing anxious under the intensity of her gaze but she just wanted to get a better look at the woman that was probably filling in the gap she'd left within Liara.

Finally Shepard spoke, "I'd like to apologize, Sam. The-" she waved her hand side to side dismissively "personal problems between Dr. T'Soni and I..._shit_. I was out of line regardless of how much I had to drink. There's no excuse for that type of behavior. I should have never put you or Dr. T'Soni in that position."

Samantha's brown eyes widened in disbelief, "Oh no Commander. There's no need for you to apologize. You didn't offend me and I completely understand the drunken part. Honestly... I've been in your shoes before. That's why I left."

Shepard smiled around another bite of food. "So you've been a jealous ex-lover before? Drunk yourself so stupid you created your own little soap opera in front of adults under your command?"

Traynor looked embarrassed but smiled, "Well, no, but I have been a drunk angry ex-lover before; much worse than you last night."

"That's definitely hard to imagine."

"Why is that Commander?" Sam cocked an amused eyebrow.

Shepard took a moment to think of the adequate words, "You're so... refined. Can a person be refined? In any case that's the word I believe describes you. I can't picture you acting coo coo." She twirled her hand around the side of her head for emphasis.

Samantha barked out in laughter. It was a rich and contagious sound and Shepard shook her head and chuckled along with her.

"I don't believe bleaching a lover's entire wardrobe and scattering all the clothing on their _new _friend's lawn then punching said new friend in the face when she came out to confront me would constitute as being classy."

Now it was Shepard's turn to bark a laugh. "You punched her in the face?"

"Multiple times in fact Commander." An easy smile spread across Traynor's lips.

"You're more vicious than you look Traynor. Perhaps you should accompany us groundside." They shared another laugh and Shepard continued eating in the comfortable silence. She took the time to ponder what she wanted to say. Traynor was a gentle person by nature, kind, and intelligent. She could probably make Liara a hell of a lot happier.

"You know." Shepard pointed her fork in Sam's direction as the comms specialist looked up from typing on her omnitool. "You're good for her."

For a brief second confusion flashed across Samantha's face and then she blushed. "Ah... No Commander. It's um... It's not like that between... Liara-" she shook her head and pointed between herself and Liara's cabin.

Shepard smiled gently. She knew there was something developing between the two even if Samantha denied it. Truth be told, she hoped Liara didn't find Samantha attractive but would live with the fact if she did.

"It's okay Sam. I'm not angry about it," Shepard couldn't maintain eye contact so she dropped her gaze down to her plate. "I had a chance and I screwed it up royally but Liara should be happy… that's what she deserves. Uncomplicated happiness and I haven't given her that. Not even as her friend recently."

Samantha stared at her, her mind obviously working over Shepard's words. It took a few seconds before she spoke again.

"From what I can tell Commander, you are not the type of woman to run scared with your tail tucked between your legs. There is a palpable tension between you and Liara but I believe you have a good heart. You can make her happy if you so choose. As if you need my counsel, I'll share with you what my mother's mother once told me 'Anything worth having is worth fighting for'. I heard you went hand to hand with a yahg so I'm sure Liara doesn't stand a chance when Commander Shepard puts her mind to winning her heart back. Besides, everyone deserves to be happy; especially the both of you."

Struck by Traynor's words, they fell back into a comfortable silence. Why did it take her months to realize what took Sam only weeks of observation? What other forms of stupidity has she subjected Liara to? Shepard looked back up to Samantha to see her fiddling with her spoon idly.

"You don't sound like a woman out to snatch my girl away from me." She commented jokingly.

Traynor laughed unreservedly again, "Trust me Commander, if you snooze on her you'll definitely lose. I play for keeps and I'll woo Liara until she completely forgets the amazing Commander Shepard. It may take me some time so make sure you win this war."

Shepard threw her hands up in the air dramatically, "First Vega and now you. I'm surrounded by a bunch of vultures! This meeting is officially dismissed Specialist!"

They both laughed and collected the remnants of their meals. As Samantha stood to leave she added, "You still have my back regarding the boss? I've been trying to get a shoo- in with her since I still need a new toothbrush."

"Keep trying Traynor." Shepard deadpanned with a smile.

Feeling more at ease with fixing the situation between Traynor, Shepard wanted to use the momentum heading into her heavy weight bout with Liara. The decision had been made: Liara T'Soni was definitely worth getting up from the mat before the count to ten determined her out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you a thousand times to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, followed, all of that! I truly appreciate it!**

* * *

It was late on their last night of shore leave and Liara hadn't returned to the Normandy until the very last minute. During a time in which Shepard would be pretty busy with pre-flight checks, personnel attendance, and so on and wouldn't have the time to seek the asari out. After departing the Citadel they had about ten minutes until they were cleared to jump the relay and head toward Tuchanka in the Aralakh System. The Commander usually stayed in the CIC, until after the jump but tonight she didn't have the patience to wait. With a nod to Traynor and the tech engineer she was conversing with, Shepard made her way to the lift; pressing the button for the deck three.

Perhaps Liara knew that the Commander would come looking for her because her "lair" was vacant and she wasn't anywhere she usually frequented on the crew deck. After grabbing a bag of candy from the kitchen, Shepard set out in search of the elusive Shadow Broker. By the time she reached the shuttle bay, her anxiety had increased to the point that she had a minor headache and her candy was nearly gone. She had less than an hour before she wanted to return to the CIC and who in the galaxy could settle major fuck-ups within fifty-three minutes? If only she had just taken the split second to look through the window from engineering she could have saved so much time.

Once the doors opened, she strolled directly to where Liara was giving hell to the heavy bag in the gym Vega had set up then decided to hang back for a moment. The asari was focused; swiftly punching, kicking, kneeing, and elbowing the bag as Vega held it steady, totally enraptured with the scene before him. The first time Shepard had ever seen Liara practicing _Elan _she'd been mesmerized much like the Lieutenant. _Elan_ was a deadly form of asari martial arts perfected over thousands of years that all commandos were taught in case their biotics failed or during close hand-to-hand combat. Like almost all things asari, it was beautiful and graceful. It reminded Shepard of a combination of T'ai chi ch'uan, Muay Thai, and a dash of Rumba. Shepard swallowed thickly and felt her body react like a pubescent boy.

Liara moved fast and light in front of the bag never once sparing a glance in Shepard's direction. The asari wore a black cut off tank and small gray shorts that showed off her curvy form. Her lean muscles glistened from the sheen of sweat covering most of her body under the bright overhead lights. _Damn_… everything about Liara exuded sexiness and she could recall in detail just how strong and…_precisely _capable the young maiden could be. Liara didn't even need to try and be sexy; it was inherent to her nature. Shepard swiped the side of her mouth absent mindedly. It was a difficult thing to pry her eyes away but she knew she couldn't just stand there staring so she sidled up next to Vega who didn't even realize someone was standing directly next to him as he held the heavy bag tight for dear life and watched.

"Liara?"

Shepard's reflexes kicked in and she hopped to the side slightly when James' huge body jerked in response to the nearness of her voice.

"Dios!.. Lola! Could y-" his next words were silenced by a right hook to his left ear and he quickly turned his attention back to his task. "Ay Blue!" Liara didn't relent or even apologize as she kept hitting the bag.

A laugh threatened to bubble up and spill out of her chest as Shepard watched Vega begin to flush red from embarrassment. "Didn't know you were so easily scared, Vega," Shepard couldn't help but tease.

"Hey! I was fully immersed in learning," he defended.

"Uh huh." There wasn't a sane soul in the galaxy that could watch Dr. Liara T'Soni practice _Elan _without streams of drool pooling from their mouth.

"So what's up Lola? I got that pull-up bar installed if you're ready for a real challenge." He smirked while never taking his eyes back off of the moving asari.

"I'm always ready to crush your little pull-up record James, but later. I need to talk to Liara actually." Shepard looked to Liara, "Can we talk, Doctor?" Almost an entire minute passed before a response was uttered.

"I'm occupied, Commander."

The Commander immediately recognized_ that_ tone. She'd dubbed it the "Benezia"voice since hearing the maiden threaten to flay people alive with her mind. Liara was not to be trifled with when she employed that tone and most people knew better than to bother her further but alas… Shepard wasn't most people.

"Understandable. I'll wait until you're done." Shepard leaned back on a crate and popped the last piece of candy into her mouth before crossing her arms. She almost found it amusing that the person she'd rescued from a collapsing Prothean ruin attempted to scare her off by a simple tone of voice. _Almost_ being the key word as she watched the art of _Elan_ performed in its mastery.

"I don't… have… time for you… after this… workout. Your… opportunity is… now," each word was followed by a flurry of combinations to the heavy bag.

James briefly looked between the two then exhaled audibly. "Well… Lola, d'ya mind?" he gestured to the bag. "There's a lot of negative estrogen and progesterone colliding in this area which means I should go."

Shepard stifled a laugh as she stepped up to grip the bag, graced with only a slight pause from a fuming Liara. She could swear that last jab was purposely thrown closer to her face.

"Do you even understand what those hormones are Vega?"

"Nope! Just that they're female hormones and when they start flowing in anger it's my cue to get the hell out," he said retrieving a pack of cards from the weapons bench, a crooked smile gracing his face.

"Asari do not even have estrogen, smart guy. Their hormones are a lot more _complicated_," she winked at James in good humor earning a chuckle from him.

Ice cold daggers were being shot in both her and Vega's direction and he exhaled loudly again. "All I know is that you're the one holding the bag Lola and it's about to get real 'Clash of the Titans' up in here. Good luck with that. Adios!" he said before trotting off in Steve's general vicinity.

Increasingly forceful strikes to the bag caused Shepard's laugh to sober quickly. She looked up to large, very blue eyes aflame with fury and cursed herself for adding fuel to the fire. It was never a comfortable feeling to be the subject of Liara's anger and especially not at the moment while fists and other boney prominences were flying extremely close to her face. It was also unsettling having the weight of those eyes boring into her; Liara had become a major stickler for eye contact ever since she'd taken up information brokering. It wasn't that Shepard couldn't maintain eye contact; just that Liara had extremely expressive eyes. It was the new emotion behind the glare she'd never been subject to that bothered her.

She bit her bottom lip and took a moment to think of what she wanted to say. A few beats went by before she finally decided to open her mouth and be completely honest. "I haven't been good to you."

It didn't look as if the asari would reply as she kept pounding into the bag, each hit growing quicker… harder. Shepard knew that no matter what she said, it would fall short of what she really wanted to express. There was nothing she could say to fix what she'd torn apart. Her actions would have to prove what was in her heart. They'd both said horrible things to each other at one time or another but it was Shepard that held on to her bitterness like a cloak.

After waking up in that Cerberus lab to her entire universe flipped upside down, there were times she wished they would have left her dead. Everything she fought for was discredited. No one trusted her; even Anderson had kept her at arm's length. To have Tali and Garrus having her back during those times was more than comforting but if she had to be honest neither of them was the one person she truly wanted backing her. The miscommunication and misunderstanding began when she couldn't comprehend Liara's cool distance when they saw each other for the first time on Illium. After the initial kiss, things between them had rapidly deteriorated.

Shepard looked at Liara who'd yet to take her steely eyes off of her, her face was pulled taut and the furrow in her brow communicated the depth of her anger. The Commander's only reaction was to stare back and grunt from the air being slightly knocked out of her with each strike. Did she ever take the time to put herself in Liara's shoes? Try to understand how she felt and what she had gone through during those two years she'd been dead?

"I'm sorry, Li," her voice came out barely above a whisper and she felt weak for it.

Abruptly Liara stopped hitting the bag and turned her back to the Commander to grab a fresh towel from the makeshift rack Vega had built out of left over parts from the retrofit. She wiped her face without a word, discarded it, then grabbed a bottle of water from the stack next to the rack and downed most of it before turning to face Shepard again.

"I need to get back to the Network. I'll be ready for Tuchanka when you call." Liara walked off toward the elevator without another word. Shepard followed. She didn't want to force Liara to talk but she couldn't leave things as they were. They entered the lift silently with Shepard leaning against the back wall in the right corner.

As Shepard stared at Liara's back she could see tension coiled tight in her shoulders, arms, and back. Her foot tapped impatiently as the lift ascended the two levels and she darted out just as soon as the doors opened wide enough. Shepard followed, again. Luckily she made it through the doors of Liara's quarters just in time before they closed and more than likely locked. Liara didn't stop as she walked to the back of the room to her en suite, shooing Glyph away in a low growl.

While she waited, Shepard sat at one of the terminals and swiveled side to side in the chair. She was definitely risking more of Liara's wrath but she wouldn't leave until she was kicked out on her ass. Her eyes wandered around the room, taking in all the technology stuffed into a compact space before landing on a certain picture next to Liara's main terminal. As if compelled, she got up and went to it; feeling her heart drop as she moved closer.

It was a physical picture of Shepard dressed sharply in her Alliance marine blue dress uniform smiling widely; her eyes conveying the happiness and deep emotions for the person she was offering her hand to as they stood frozen in time. The moment captured before she brought Liara closer as they danced at the Citadel celebration for stopping Saren and taking down Sovereign. She had never seen the picture before but it caused her to remember just how happy she had once been. How happy she had made Liara.

Picking up the frame she studied the lines of her own face. The crease of her lips as they smiled brightly. The adoration her eyes communicated. God, how could she be so stupid as to muck this type of bliss up? She didn't believe love was a mystical thing only attained with one person. Love was what you made it. She had once fought hard and sacrificed much to make it work with Liara; when had that changed?

Her eyes refocused on Liara's face… her eyes. She missed the feeling she got when those eyes looked at her in that way. And she'd go through hell to make them look at her in that way again.

An unknown amount of time passed as Shepard looked at the picture until she felt it softly taken out of her hands. She looked up and saw Liara looking at it before walking over to one of the desks and putting it in one of the top compartments. "Tali took that," she said as she slowly closed the drawer.

"I've never seen it before. It's a beautiful picture." Shepard hoped like bloody hell the whole closing the door on the picture wasn't synonymous to their relationship.

Liara merely hummed a reply before turning and walking to the monitors adorning the expanse of a wall. She went about checking briefly over a few and focusing closer on others.

Shepard shifted her weight from foot to foot then ran a hand through her long dark hair. This entire exchange was new territory. "Can we talk?"

"Please, say what's on your mind. I need to work, Commander." Liara said as she moved next to Shepard at the main terminal and commenced typing.

They stood close enough for Shepard to get a whiff of the asari's fresh fragrance. It was warm and sweet; sort of like vanilla and brown sugar. Once again she was faced with the sweet torture of being so tantalizing close to Liara but at least this time she wasn't intoxicated. This time she could feel with stark clarity of how her body reacted to their nearness. How her heart rate elevated, her skin tingled, yearning for a simple touch. She needed a drink of water because of how dry her mouth had gone.

"I… I miss what we had in that picture," she ventured.

"What else do you want to say?" No passion in the Shadow Broker's voice at all, just cold indifference. That brief moment when Liara's guard had been down as they looked at that picture was over. Now the shield was back in full force.

Shepard ignored the cold rush of heartbreak as she continued, "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

It took Liara a little over a minute to finally stop typing and turn toward Shepard. They were mere inches apart and the static Shepard always felt when her ex-lover was near multiplied tenfold. Large luminous blue eyes searched Shepard's face. She wasn't sure what for but the fire in Liara's eyes had softened as she took in the Commander's earnest expression.

"I don't want our situation to weigh on you so heavily, Shepard. You need a clear mind for this war without the burdens of trivial conflict with me. I… I forgive you, but I can't… I can't stand here and promise that I have more of myself to give you." Liara's voice was laden with emotion as she spoke low and soft; its unintended effect made Shepard unconsciously move closer.

She stood close enough to feel glorious warm breath brush across her lips. Liara's eyelids were slightly narrowed as she stood her ground before the soldier. "I don't want to take from you again. I swear that I don't." Shepard yearned to touch… to move closer… to _give _more. To simply press her lips against the cobalt lips hovering so close. Her heart thrummed in her chest and there was a burn growing low in her belly. Her body recognized its mate and demanded fulfillment. And as much as she wanted to touch, she wanted to _feel_… feel the entirety of Liara again. Feel Liara's hands… skin… _warmth_, and touch of mind. She couldn't stop the fingertips that came up to trace Liara's delicate jaw if she wanted to.

"I forgive you… just let that be enough for now." Liara whispered before turning her body away and bracing her hands on the terminal.

With a deep inhale Shepard took a step back and nodded. She was still unsure of their future, but felt marginally relieved. At least she was forgiven. Activating her omnitool, she looked at the time and a message from Mordin regarding Eve and the cure. It was time to return to work, but she needed just a little more closure.

"Will you let me be your friend again? I just want to… fix this… I want to make it better before you decide that I'm not worth your time." Did she sound like a begging child? Doesn't matter… she'd get on her knees for Liara.

Liara's expression looked pained as she gripped onto the keyboard tighter.

"I just…" Shepard stepped over to another terminal and keyed in a song to play before leaving. She'd graduated to the highest level of cornball within two minutes but she honestly didn't know how to put into words how she felt in that exact moment. She knew the song would do it for her. She nodded as the soulful vocals of Monica, a twenty-first century R&B singer, began to play softly around them. _Before You Walk out of My Life_, being the most appropriate lyrics for how she felt.

At the threshold of the door she paused without turning when she heard Liara's soft voice over the music. "I've never stopped being your friend, Shepard."

With a deep inhale she bit her bottom lip for composure. "Thank you, Li," and left to the med-bay. It was a small victory so she allowed a small smile to grace her lips as walked forward.


	4. Chapter 4

Goddess, she was so tired and her body ached all over. The last few days had seen some of the worst fighting since their days chasing after Saren and the geth. Liara shrugged out of her robe and tossed it on the couch as she made her way to the comfort of her bed. She crawled between the sheets with a contented sigh and snuggled into the pillows. If she was this tired after just one mission, she could only imagine just how exhausted Shepard and the others were after two weeks of back to back missions on Tuchanka. A smile played on her lips; she couldn't deny just how much it felt like old times, running through ancient ruins and accomplishing the impossible with Shepard and Garrus. To think they assisted with curing the genophage was remarkable.

As she began to drift toward slumber, Liara heard the doors to her quarters open, and knew from Glyph's greeting that it was Shepard. She was also the only person on the Normandy with unrestricted access to her room although the Commander usually came by for information during regular working hours. She could hear the Commander typing at a terminal and asking Glyph to find recent reports of Rachni sightings. Liara had the curtains to her private area closed so she could only hear bits and pieces of what Shepard was doing. When she heard the unmistakable sounds of Shepard trying to access her main terminal with Glyph's assistance she got out of bed and slid into her robe.

"Shepard?"

The Commander wore the soft N7 sweater jacket she favored when not on duty with a white t-shirt underneath and sweat pants. The expression on her face flashed between surprise and guilt and she took a few steps away from the computer.

"Sorry Liara, I didn't mean to wake you. I thought I'd be in and out."

Liara eyed Shepard suspiciously, "You're trying to hack into my network?"

Emerald eyes went wide. "No! No, no of course not… well… yes, but for an extremely important reason! Cross my heart."

Liara keyed in her passwords and looked at Shepard. In the dark, with the glow of the multiple monitor lights, she could see the droop in the lids of Shepard's eyes and the puffy skin underneath them. She looked worn and exhausted despite the small smile and light tone. They'd established something of a friendly nature between them since their last personal conversation and Shepard had given her much needed space. At this point Liara could give the Commander the information she needed and send her away or she could offer an olive branch in the rebuilding of their friendship.

"Why are you working so late, Shepard?" Liara asked.

"I just wanted to get a lead on the Rachni Queen." Shepard bowed her head slightly and slumped her shoulders, a few strands of dark hair flowed into her face. "I need to find her."

Liara knew that Shepard regretted freeing the Queen when they encountered the Rachni husks in the City of the Ancients. The incident had visibly shaken her for the remaining battles. "Shepard, you made the right choice at the time when you freed her. You couldn't have predicted the power and influence of the Reapers years ago. We barely even knew what the Reapers were then and they're still a mystery as we fight them in this war now."

Shepard scrubbed at her face before running her fingers through her hair. "I know. I just need to fix this … I know that the Reapers have her somewhere. She doesn't deserve to have the pain of her children taken from her again." The human began to pace back and forth.

Liara typed a few things before closing her terminal again. She then took Shepard by the wrist and led her to a pair of chairs she kept in the corner urging the Commander down into one while she took the other.

"Glyph will forward all relevant information to your private terminal." Liara looked into Shepard's emerald eyes and saw an emptiness she'd never seen before. "You want to kill her not save her." The words flowed out questioningly but they both knew it was a statement of fact.

Shepard turned her head away ashamed from the look in Liara's eyes, "I set her free… the deaths caused by her children are on my hands and so is her misery."

Liara sat back in her chair and brought her legs up and hugged them to her chest, she rested her chin on her knees, and her eyes looked over the Commander. Something was shifting within the Commander and it wasn't for the benefit of anyone. "We both know that's not true. Are you responsible for every organic unfortunate enough to be transformed by the Reapers, Shepard?"

She felt the heat in those emerald eyes as they snapped back to her. Then the anger was suddenly replaced with sadness. Fingers began to fiddle with the zipper on the sweater. "You think I'm turning back into a murderer?"

"Goddess no! I never said that."

Shepard stood and jammed her hands into the front pockets of her jacket. "I meant that as a question."

Liara released her legs but did not stand. Was _this _what was shifting in Shepard? She was comparing what she did as a Red to what she was doing now? Did she feel like she was killing people needlessly? Did she feel like only a tool?

"You've made a lot of decisions regarding billions of lives within the last year. Decisions one person should not have the burden of making and you don't have the luxury of time for finesse. I believe this war will bring out the darkness in all of us but I have faith that you will continue to do your best. That you won't let that darkness swallow you."

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Shepard spoke up again, her voice quiet, green eyes fixed to Liara's face. "I thought that you didn't love me anymore, had moved on after two years. That's why I did it."

"Shep-"

"Please, just hear me out and then you can say anything that you want without interruption from me." Shepard retook her seat in the chair next to her. "That's how I felt. It is immature and ridiculous now that I look back on it, but loneliness will make a person do questionable things." Shepard leaned forward and enveloped one of her hands in the warmth between her palms.

"I blamed you for everything, I was so angry… I honestly thought… actually, I _still_ feel that I lost you to Feron. You were so determined to find him, so passionate about it… and the look on your face when we did find him. God, I wished that you would look at me like that." Her fingertips began to trace patterns on the back of Liara's hand as she spoke.

"Even if I have lost you to him, I should have never treated you like my prized toy that I didn't want to share," she tried to smile but it faltered. "If I love you the way I say I do… I would let you be happy…I would let you go." Those last words came out barely above a whisper. Shepard's eyes took on an uncharacteristic emotion that softened her entire demeanor. Her lips quirked up into a sad smile and she abruptly released Liara's hand.

Liara was stunned into silence. Seconds ticked by as Shepard waited, green eyes swirling with emotion, willing Liara to say something. She knew this was her chance to speak, but her mind felt bombarded with thoughts, too many to formulate into a response. Her mouth fell open as if words would flow out but eventually closed. Liara watched as Shepard leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss to her cheek before standing and walking out of the door. Perhaps it was the exhaustion taking effect but her reaction came minutes too late with her eyes still glued to the closed doors.

"But Feron isn't who I'm in love with…" she said into the darkness of her cabin.

* * *

_Sorry for the delay! I wrote multiple versions of this chapter and couldn't decide which to pursue. I eventually completed this last night so forgive any mistakes and how short it is. Hopefully I won't be so indecisive in the future. By the way... Game of Thrones! Dragons! Yaaaay!_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hi! I do apologize for the delay... sometimes I start writing other things and then I want to write more of this or that before that and this... and it makes sense in my head but suffice it to say I've been writing without uploading. I have other stories I've been working on too so they might be uploaded in between updating this story... I dunno... we shall see said the blind man. Anywayz I want to thank you all who's favorited, followed, reviewed, cyber hugged... all that! Also sp**__**ecial thanks and shout out to Court Von D for checking up on me! You in first place! **_

* * *

The booming sound of the Rachni Queen's voice amplified through the dozens of dead krogan around the cavern was almost deafening. Shepard looked around, Reaper technology lined the majority of the cavern and she could sense that something was off… something wasn't right. She could feel it deep inside… something dark in nature and insidious. Her head began to feel groggy and her vision darkened around the peripheral edges. She took several deep breaths to compose herself, and shrugged off Garrus' hand when he tugged at her shoulder.

Her eyes returned to the Queen. As much as she wanted to save her, set her free, and get the hell out of that cave… she couldn't bring herself to release the shackles. The apology felt cold and disgusting as she told the Queen that she couldn't take the risk. The Reapers would find her again… imprison her again… that was the rationale she used as she turned her back to the Queen and left her; left her without hope to die alone.

"We welcome the silence."

* * *

"Plot a course for the Exodus Cluster Joker. We're going back to Eden Prime." Shepard said as she watched the pilot's hands fly over the controls.

"Aye aye, Commander. Going back to where it all began huh? Think you'll find the fifth element there that'll wipe out the Reapers?"

"We can only hope." Shepard forced a smile to her face before offering a weak excuse to retreat to her cabin.

The mission on Utukku left her feeling… barren. The once almost imperceptible orange glow behind her pupils was now unmistakable. What once were fissures criss-crossing her skin, now were glowing tactile scars. Her physical appearance reflected the monster growing inside of her. It made her feel self-conscious; it reminded her and others who looked upon her face that she was _unnatural_.

Shepard was unsure of what she needed to do. Sleep? No, sometimes sleeping was more stressful than living through this war. So what should she do?…The doors of the elevator opened to reveal Liara casually leaning against the opposite wall; much to her surprise. They hadn't interacted much since… the other night.

Liara's eyes widened when they landed on Shepard's face and her lips parted in a gasp. Unfortunately for everyone, the worsening of Shepard's scars was not subtle and reactions similar to Liara's were the reaction she'd been receiving within the last thirty-six hours. The asari reached up and ran her pads of her fingertips over the more pronounced scar over Shepard's brow.

Shepard allowed her eyes to flutter closed briefly at the touch. Not admitting that she craved the comfort… that she craved another person's fleeting affection. Especially this specific person's.

"Have you seen Dr. Chakwas for this?" Liara asked.

"Yes, she has something in the works, said I should try to relax until she figures something out. I was about to… rest. Did you need something?" Shepard asked as she stepped back out of Liara's grasp.

Shepard probably need the time alone to rest, but Liara couldn't bring herself to leave. Not at how defeated the commander appeared. "Just to talk. Will you invite me in?"

With a quick nod they made their way into Shepard's cabin, she motioned Liara to take a seat on the couches. The lighting was dim, mostly illuminated by the aquarium, music played softly on the overhead speakers. Shepard went to her desk where she kept an electric kettle and went about preparing bori cha for two. She hadn't expected company when she returned so she rummaged around her cabinet for an extra mug.

Liara sat on the couch facing the bed with a leg crossed over the other and her hands folded in her lap. Shepard sat down next to her and handed the asari a warm mug of the tea. "Of course I ruined a perfect pot of bori cha with two heaping spoonful's of sugar just for you."

Liara smiled as she brought the human tea up to her lips. "I'm sure you've been secretly putting sugar in this tea since then, Shepard."

Shepard looked aghast as she leaned back and vehemently shook her head in the negative. "I would never!" she chuckled then took a sip from her own mug. "So… what's up? What's on your mind?"

"Perhaps you should tell me what's on your mind. Dr. Chakwas said your body would reject the implants if you were under extreme stress and judging by the differences in your appearance…" Liara trailed off, hoping the Commander wouldn't be offended.

Shepard didn't want Liara looking directly and her face so she kept facing forward toward her bed. "We're fighting a war. Isn't that stressing enough?" Shepard answered quietly.

"That's fair but I can't help but feel that there is more to it than just that." Liara gently pulled Shepard back to face her by her chin. "You can still trust me, Shepard. I will listen if you need to talk."

Shepard tried to pull her face away again but the effort was futile. "Please, don't look so closely." Liara finally released her and she looked away and took a sip from her mug, wishing she'd spiked it with the cheap bourbon she kept stashed away.

"I talked to Samantha." Liara said in a soft voice.

Shepard wasn't sure what Sam had to do with anything or why Liara was even bringing her up so she remained quiet. She felt Liara shift slightly closer and put her mug on the coffee table.

"She told me that you apologized for being inebriated and that you… think she is good for me?"

Green eyes were compelled to look at Liara after those words. She'd almost forgotten about her jealousy of Sam. It was embarrassing now that she knew they were just friends but at the time that's how she felt. Liara looked questioningly at her and then continued, "Also…the other night you said that you think I'm in love with Feron. So both Feron and Samantha, Shepard?"

Shepard smiled nervously and tried to play it off. "Well you are drop dead gorgeous, T'Soni. You could have the three of us wrapped around your finger if you really wanted to."

Liara's serious expression made her feel sheepish and she hurriedly took another sip before the asari continued, "I brought this up to say that I've noticed you've been… not yourself as of late. Emotional, irrational, and insecure… this is not the Shepard I know."

Shepard stood up and ran her fingers through her hair in a nervous gesture. Maybe she was a bit insecure and emotional, but they were fighting a damn war against the worst enemy imaginable. She felt off balance but that was due to fatigue and stress. What was Liara implying?

"Do you think I'm going crazy or something? I don't understand where you're going with this Liara."

Liara watched the back and forth movement of Shepard as the woman paced in the space between the couch and coffee table. A small tight area and she prowled like a wild feline that felt threatened. The asari stood and grabbed Shepard by the wrists to stop the movement.

"I believe you have a fear of something inside of yourself and its adversely affecting you. What are you keeping hidden, Shepard?"

The blue eyes seemed to sear straight through her. Opening her up and displaying all her vulnerabilities to the asari. Shepard was afraid. She didn't want Liara to see what had taken up residence inside. Didn't want to see the disgust, repulsion, and fear… it would confirm the fears that swarmed within her.

"You do not have to carry so much on your own, Shepard. You have friends here. We are with you." Puffs of warm breath breezed across her face as Liara spoke; making her want to share. To voice some of the fears so that it didn't feel so damn heavy.

Briefly the thought of asking Shepard to _show_ what she was going through flashed through Liara's mind before she quickly dismissed it. No. As much as she wanted to help the woman, she wasn't ready for _that_. When it came to Shepard, she couldn't trust herself to remain – for lack of a better word: friendly – in the meld. After their first few joinings when trying to decipher the prothean vision, her developing feelings and desires began to leak through. When she could feel Shepard's reciprocation, things began to evolve toward a true union. Many times after ending a meld they were short of breath, bodies tangled, faces pressed close.

With their relationship slowly being repaired, jumping ahead wouldn't be the wisest decision. So Liara sat back down on the couch and tugged Shepard with her. "Well. Let's just finish our tea. We can talk when you are ready."

Shepard nodded and scooped up her mug. She kept her eyes downcast staring into the warm liquid.

A few minutes went by before Shepard spoke up. "I'm sorry for projecting my insecurities on you. I… its my own damn fault… what I did… before."

"We can discuss that another time. Drink your tea." Liara interjected. They finished the rest of their tea in silence. Shepard felt comforted by Liara's presence and guilty for it. She didn't deserve this chance to right her wrongs with the asari, but she admitted to herself that she was selfish.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard's teeth worked her bottom lip in frustration as she waited a few minutes for Liara to be a safe hearing distance away. She turned back to the object of her ire with a heated glare. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and his lips down-turned in an impatient frown as he gazed at her unfazed. She knew Javik could sense that she had something to say, but she didn't realize he would be dumb enough to voice his next thoughts before she could speak.

"Your asari continues to question me. I'm beginning to wish her kind had never learned to talk."

It's possible he meant what he said in jest; in the short amount of time she'd known the prothean she realized he had a _unique_ sense of humor, but there were certain things she didn't find funny. To say his imperialistic prattle had frayed her nerves was an understatement. For the last few hours on their return trip to the Citadel, they'd been subjected to his bitter pompous nonsense and Shepard had grown more and more impatient. Multiple times she had envisioned herself wringing his neck as he and Liara spoke about everything under the sun. Some of his snide remarks had caught her attention more than most; those directed toward the exuberant archaeologist were took note of and cataloged.

Shepard swiveled her head around on her neck to release tension and found relief in an audible pop then she clenched and released the hands multiple times in her lap. Adrenaline flowed freely as her body prepared to fight. For once she was grateful for the deep cracks in her skin that eerily glowed and her pupils that did the same. Despite how unaffected the prothean tried to seem by her appearance, she had felt his apprehension when he first touched her outside of his stasis pod. Who could blame him? She damn near looked like the cyborg terminator from the old vids.

Calmly the commander rose to her feet, unsheathed the dagger she kept strapped to her right thigh, and walked slowly toward Javik. His four eyes didn't blink as he watched her approach. The scowl on her face turned into a sneer when she was barely a breath apart.

Javik's ancient skin smelled musty and damp, something like what she imagined a mummy would smell like. His breath splayed against her face with each exhale feeling oddly cold as she stood nose to nose before him. Shepard's hands trembled from the effort of not sinking her dagger deep into his neck or bowel to eviscerate him. Her anger rose thick in her veins uncontrollably. Her jaw worked similarly to her fists a few moments ago until she finally felt composed enough to talk.

"You should be grateful to that asari, _prothean_. She's the only reason why I haven't killed you yet. I have no qualms against skinning you with my bare hands and setting your skull on my desk as a trophy if you continue to treat her as less than a person." Somewhere deep inside Shepard knew this was definitely the wrong foot to get off on with a new crew member, but she couldn't think straight enough to stop her diatribe. Unsurprisingly, Javik's tri-colored eyes never blinked nor strayed from hers as he watched her quietly.

Finally, Shepard sighed and stepped back to create distance between them. "I truly, really do not want to kill you Javik. You are an asset to me and I respect what I saw you accomplish during your war with the Reapers. But you are _not_ in the same galaxy you left behind fifty thousand years ago." She had to compose herself quickly or she was going to murder the bastard where they stood in his room. She grudgingly returned the dagger to its sheath.

The human snapped her hands behind her back and began to pace, as she usually did when her emotions ran away with her. She had to physically force herself not to run her fingers through her hair. A half manic smile creased her face as she turned to him again.

"You see, Liara spent over fifty years of her life studying your people and you are a literally her dream manifested in the flesh. She went through great lengths to accommodate you." The soldier threw her hands up in the air motioning around the room. "I would have just thrown a cot in here, but she's a lot kinder than me to your great fortune."

The only movement from the prothean was the way his eyes tracked her every move. Unperturbed she continued, "If I were to kill you, I would plummet straight to the bottom of her shit list. Something I'm already struggling to get my name written off of." Within half a millisecond Shepard once again stood close enough to his face, they could feel one another's body heat. "But I swear to your dead fucking empire that I will hand your ass over to the Reapers my damn self so they can complete the job of conquering the protheans if you disrespect her again. You _will _address her as nothing less than Doctor T'Soni. Understood?"

He didn't bat an eye and stood stoic in the face of her rampage. Shepard slightly felt bad to demean the guy (she hated when her anger made her lose who she was), but she wouldn't allow his degradation of Liara to carry on any further. With his sensory ability, she knew he could sense the gravity of her words.

"It is understood, Commander." Javik finally uttered after a few minutes of mounting tension. Shepard turned on her heel to leave, but stopped short at the door when he continued. "She is your mate. You feel compelled to protect her honor although you have wronged her in the past. Her love is what gives you hope to win this war, is it not? She is the reason you push your fears deep down inside and lift your rifle every single day to fight. Take my advice and be truthful to her... to yourself. Show her what she means to you while you still can human." Javik released his arms and turned back to his table of water. His head hung as he braced himself on the edge. "It is a devastating force when the one you love no longer takes breath."

Shepard's anger curbed at his words and her head fell forward. She knew he spoke from his own experience. With a simple nod he couldn't see she strode out of his room; her heart heavy as some of his personal memories flashed through her mind. Tears that didn't belong to her burned her eyes as she thought of his loss and jabbed her thumb on the button to call the lift. She could feel the deep ache and unfathomable emptiness it left in him, years before the imminent fall of his empire. He was like a husk, a being without purpose until he was sealed away to become the avatar of vengeance for future generations. Now, for the first time, she understood his callousness. The commander completely understood on a human level because she could easily become what he is.

Stolen moments, a smile, whispered words of assurance was his only reprieve from the war during their time. Her name was Amari and _she_ was _his_ Liara. Unfortunately for Javik, he had not been so lucky to rectify his mistakes.

* * *

"Commander Shepard, would you be so kind as to come over here please?" Dr. Chakwas asked from the door of the med-bay, across the mess from where Shepard was heading. The older woman didn't give her the chance to object before she disappeared back into the room.

Shepard glanced at the closed door of Liara's cabin before changing direction and silently fuming toward her new destination. Once she crossed the threshold she was cut off from the protest that hung from her full lips.

"Commander, do try harder to avoid stressful situations and confrontation. Come and sit down, please. Let me have a look at you."

"EDI, if I haven't already told you today: you're nosy as hell!" Shepard yelled up at the ceiling as she was ushered into the seat next to Dr. Chakwas' desk. The older woman chuckled as she waved her omnitool over Shepard's body.

Satisfied with the results she sat down and powered on her terminal. "Do not blame EDI, Commander. She was only following my orders unlike certain ship captains" Dr. Chakwas scolded with a playful smile.

Shepard propped her right elbow up on the desk and leaned her jaw into her hand. Her smile mushed upward at the awkward position. "I have a zero tolerance policy against bullying."

"There's no doubt in my mind if Liara found offense in his words, we'd be scrapping Javik from the walls." The doctor had a point there. Prothean or not, Liara would surely make her thoughts clear. "There is another reason I asked you in here, Commander. I ordered the supplies I'll need for the surgery on your lesions. I'm confident I'll be able to close them will little to no visible scarring. The package should be at Huerta by the time we get back to the Citadel."

Shepard sat up at this news. "Great! How long will I be out?" Thank God for simple mercies. It was difficult for her to walk around looking like an unearthly monster, scaring the very people she was rescuing. She was pretty sure she would be the subject of nightmares for a few of the kids on Eden Prime they'd helped during an evacuation. She would never forget their frightened wide-eyed stares as they took in her face.

"The operation itself should only take about one hour, possibly a little more and we're probably looking at a twenty four hour recovery period. There are other factors involved including the nanites for your implants but that is probably all that you're most concerned about anyway. Trust that I'll have you back to pretty in no time Commander." Dr. Chakwas' warm smile made Shepard's brighten even more.

"Fantastic! I do have a lunch date that I should try to look my best for."


	7. Chapter 7

The commander sat at a small corner table on the presidium at Apollo's cafe. All forms of people from varying species walked about living life purposely oblivious to the war. Here on the Citadel, their lives were untouched by the horrors out in the traverse. She brought the cup of water she'd been sipping for the past ten minutes to her lips while waiting on her lunch date. Her eyes continued to scan across the crowds and she was pleased no one had recognized her. _I should dress in civilian clothes more often while I'm here_, Shepard mused, a smile stretching her lips.

Usually, there was always someone asking her to find a lost relative or pet or to take one matter or another to the Councilors. The media followed on her heels while she ran errands on the Citadel when she wore her fatigues and was unmistakably _the _Commander Shepard.

But then again civvies also had their cons she thought as swaying hips approached her table. A pearly smile that communicated more than mere interest in her lunch order adorned the lilac lips of her waitress.

"Are you sure I can't get you something else while you wait? Perhaps an appetizer? We have oysters with pink peppercorn mignonette that is absolutely…" her gray eyes traced Shepard's lips then flicked flirtatiously back up to her eyes, "_mouthwatering_."

_Laying it on pretty thick aren't you? _Shepard thought but offered a polite smile to Lana, her asari waitress. The more time passed as Shepard waited, the more bold Lana became. God help her too because Shepard wasn't blind. Lana was exceptionally attractive, a beautiful symmetrical face, shapely body, and her skin was a beautiful cerulean shade that reminded her of- . Shepard shook her head "no" referring more to her train of thought than answering the question from the waitress.

"Um… no thank you Lana. I'll wait until my friend is here to order." Shepard noticed the step forward the asari took and the way her body leaned in an alluring way toward her.

"You have been waiting for a while." Lana said her voice low and seductive.

The intent of the asari was clear and she couldn't help but look around nervously because she knew this was one of the restaurants frequented by Liara. _Why the hell did I choose this place of all places? _"I have but I've been enjoying the view." Shepard smiled softly and leaned back to motion over the balcony and the sky cars zipping by. "Besides, my friend is pretty busy," she shrugged. "I don't mind waiting."

"I hope I've been good company for you?" A hopeful smile, a hip pressed into her arm, and a floral fragrance once again made Shepard scan her surroundings.

It would be so easy to play Lana's game and have fun… _so easy_… but she'd been there and done that. The aftermath was definitely not fun and Shepard was still paying the price.

Trying her friendliest voice, Shepard replied, "The best. I feel like your favorite customer." This made the asari smile wider and a hand brushed the back of her shoulders.

"You definitely are my favorite. It would be nice if I knew the name of my most favorite customer. I'd prefer not to call you cute human." Lana said leaning down.

Shepard noticed an older asari at the bar watching them as she dried the counter with more force than necessary. She could swear the asari was scowling directly at her.

Turning her face, she didn't realize how close the asari had brought her own until their noses nearly collided. Shepard jerked back, "I think your boss is timing you." Lana laughed and looked up briefly then gray eyes returned to Shepard.

"More reason for you to tell me your name since my favorite customer has gotten me in trouble."

Asari didn't have the same sense of personal space as humans but Shepard also knew her touch was way too forward but chose to ignore Lana's nearness and create distance by leaning back in her chair.

"You can call me… Esmeralda."

Lana smiled triumphantly, running her finger down the commander's shoulder before turning to walk toward the infuriated asari at the bar. Shepard searched her surroundings again before returning her gaze to the sky cars and continued to wait. She didn't wait long before she saw a dark haired human walking in her direction.

Shepard stood with a large smile. "Deputy Jo!"

Ashley gave a disarming smile in return before grabbing Shepard into a quick hug. "I'll allow you to call me that since I'm late and you've forgiven me so much for being an asshole."

"You've always been an asshole. It's part of your charm." She winked at Ashley as they sat down. "So... Spectre Williams! Congrats! We should drink to this! Show the citizens of the Citadel how the two human Spectres get down!"

"It's two in the afternoon, Skipper. Don't be a bad influence on me before five." Ashley grinned.

"If I recall correctly, you're the one who got Tali drunk the very first time in her life so mm-" Shepard stuck out her tongue and laughed and waved Lana back over "Soooo… what does the Council have in store for you?"

"I'm not sure. Udina has only said he wants me here for the moment. He'll let me know soon enough." Ashley shrugged and began flipping through the menu.

Lana returned once again to Shepard's side, "So this must be your friend you've been waiting for?"

Ashley glanced up over the menu and raised her brows at Lana's nearness to Shepard, her dark eyes danced with mirth but she remained quiet. "Yes, let me introduce you to my good friend, Jo Lupo. Jo this is Lana our server."

Lana smiled graciously at both women, her eyes lingering on Shepard, "It has been my pleasure to meet both of you Jo Lupo and Esmeralda. What can I get for you?"

Ashley immediately choked on her laughter and waved her hand in Shepard's direction, "Excuse me, Lana please take _Esmeralda's_ order first."

Shepard proceeded to order lunch special with a house salad and Ashley a chicken Caesar salad with an ice tea. Lana nodded happily before leaving their table to assist her other tables.

"I thought I was going to die when she called you Esmeralda! You're such a damn idiot," Ashley snickered.

Shepard sat back in her chair and chuckled, "I figured you'd get a kick out of that."

"At the time I thought I was paying you back for calling me Jo Lupo, but it backfired when you took it as an actual compliment! So how's everyone on the Normandy?"

"They're doing pretty good. We've accomplished a lot of great things that has built up morale. I wish you could have seen how happy Wrex was when the cure was dispersed, he was bouncing around like a kid." Their laughs blended together and Ashley shook her head in amusement.

"Ah Wrex, I miss his brooding ass. So… how about Liara?" Ashley ventured cautiously, her nails drumming against the table surface. She'd seen the tension between the two on Mars and knew there were major troubles in paradise. She never got the chance to ask Shepard about it after the mech tried to flatten her head into a pancake.

"Liara is good too." Shepard replied, ignoring the ache that flared up in her chest. To know that it was over romantically between them was a difficult pill to swallow, but she kept hope alive. Strangely, her talk with Javik had encouraged her to do more.

"And… the two of you are good?" Ashley ventured further watching Shepard's green eyes.

Shepard shrugged and turned her gaze back to the skycars. She loved Ashley as her friend… no… as a sister but wasn't sure if she could even begin to tell the woman the mess she'd gotten herself in.

Ashley took her silence as offense and held up her hands in surrender, "Okay Skipper, we don't have to talk about it but I do want you to know that I like her. And I like her for you. At first, as difficult as it is to believe, I couldn't stand Liara." Shepard's eyes returned to Ashley and they both fell into laughter again. "But now I consider her a good friend. I hope you two work it out and soon… we don't know how much time we have left."

Shepard sighed and fought the urge to tug at her hair, "Thanks Ash. We're trying to fix what's broken between us, but it's… taking some time. It's been rough," she couldn't resist the urge any longer and tugged on the ends of her hair. She smiled when the thought came to her. "I thought the prothean I found would bridge some of the gap, but he turned out to be a bigger ass than me."

Ashley's eyes bulged. "Prothean? A living prothean?"

Laughing at her friend's response as Lana returned with a pitcher of water and ice tea for Ashley, Shepard waited until the waitress left. Another hand touched her shoulder in passing briefly.

"I almost feel offended! We could be lovers for all she knows… anyway, tell me about this prothean? Is Liara in love?" Ashely chuckled.

"He's not anything any of us thought a prothean would be that's for damn sure. Believe me when I say he has probably ruined any romantic notions she had for the protheans. You know you should stop by the Normandy and meet him for yourself… witness his undeniable charm."

Ashley laughed at the sarcasm evident in the commander's tone. "He's that bad huh? Worse than Garrus?"

"Yup and you know the Gar-bear is back on the Normandy. More reason for you to stop by."

"Actually…" Ashley shifted slightly before squaring her shoulders, "I've wanted to ask you if I could return to the Normandy… you know after the Councilors make everything official and Udina doesn't need me here…"

Shepard took the time to study Ashley. Of course she wanted Ash back on her team, but two Spectres on one vessel? Before Shepard could banish the thought from her mind she wondered if Ashley would try to usurp her position once onboard. On Mars, Ashley questioned Shepard's allegiance time and time again… _What am I thinking? Too many drama vids… _

"While I was fighting the Collector's with Cerberus, in every battle I would look to my left and wish that I saw you there. By the time we went through the Omega-four relay… I was proud that you stuck to your guns… that you hadn't followed me." Shepard watched Ashley's brown eyes as she spoke of truths never said. "I knew if I died on the Collector base… _you _would be the soldier that would lead the fight against the Reapers. I knew I could depend on you to step up to the plate. Ashley, you're strong, smart, and efficient… not to mention you're one of the best damned soldiers I've ever served with and… it would be an honor to have you back on the Normandy."

No guilt flashed in those dark eyes, just gratitude as Ashley snapped into a salute. Shepard knew her mistrust had been completely unfounded and returned the salute. Their conversation moved toward more lighthearted topics as the two women enjoyed their meal as friends. It temporarily took Shepard's mind off of the war among _other_ things. With one last physical therapy appointment with Thane left, Ashley left after an hour with a promise to visit the Normandy the next morning. Shepard wasn't entirely ready to return to work so she took a seat at the bar.

"I sent Lana home if you're sticking around to see her." A gravelly voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What? Who?" Shepard looked up at the asari that had sent daggers her way earlier. Now upon closer inspection, Shepard felt like she'd seen her before…

The asari gave her a look like she was the dumbest being she'd ever had the misfortune to come across, "Lana, your server? The one that was willing to serve her goods on a platter to you earlier? Do all humans have such short damn memories or are you a special case?"

Despite the asari's clear distaste in her, Shepard laughed heartily. How refreshing it was not to have someone fawning over the hero of the Citadel. Also, there was something about this asari that she liked. Most matriarchs conducted themselves as if they were the Queen of England and expected to be treated as such but this one… she was something else; in a good way.

The asari shook her head and the scowl reemerged, "What the hell does she see in you?" A shot glass was placed in front of Shepard then cleared liquid poured from a black bottle filled it.

"Enough to serve me her goods and incite your wrath," Shepard joked as she took the shot and downed it. It took only a few seconds for the burn to kick in, but when it did, the fire in her stomach almost made her double over in pain.

"What in the hell did you just give me…? Fucking maw spit?" Shepard wheezed as she clutched the edge of the bar, a cold sweat broke out on her brow and a layer above her top lip. She felt like dizzy and gagged. The asari scowled again before pouring green liquid into her shot glass and shoved it toward her. Shepard quickly downed it and felt immediate relief.

"The question is: what the fuck happened to you? You took this like a champ back on Illium."

On Illium? It couldn't be… "Matriarch Aethyta?" Shepard struggled to say, her vision blurred by tears.

"I swear you're about as smart as a goddess-damned vorcha. _Yes_, I'm Aethyta... I can't believe she's wasted so much time on you." The angry matriarch said with a huff.

Shepard coughed and fanned her watering eyes, "It was barely an hour."

The older asari slammed a palm down on the bar drawing the attention of the other patrons to their direction. She leaned forward menacingly, "I'm not talking about Lana. I'm talking about Liara."

Realization dawned on the Commander then. She remembered viewing files on the Matriarch and one in particular caught her eye. The asari sat hunched at a table, staring at a photo of Liara with a drink in one hand. She'd always wanted to ask the information broker what that was about, but their personal issues always persisted being the main topic.

Shepard straightened in her chair and watched the asari with interest. She had a hunch of who she thought the asari was and hoped the matriarch would be willing to confirm it. "I haven't always been good to Liara, but I'm trying to change that. I couldn't care less about Lana, believe me." Aethyta's eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "But, Liara… is she family to you?"

Before answering, Aethyta turned her back to retrieve a bottle of asari liquor and poured them both a shot. Her eyes were still disapproving but she relaxed enough to not appear threatening. "I am what you humans would label… her father."

They both drank their shots which were quickly refilled. "Does she know?"

Aethyta sighed in her gravelly voice, "The kid is smart… I'm sure she does know."

"Have you tried to talk to her? I bet she'd love to meet you." Shepard thought back to the conversations she had with Liara about her parentage. How the young asari had questions in her eyes as she spoke guardedly about who Benezia had chosen as a partner.

Aethyta didn't look very impressed and bristled at the commander's words, "What would you know, human? How could you possibly speak on Liara's desires? If she wanted to meet me she'd walk right up here and do it. She comes here every damn time your ship docks, there's been ample opportunity for her to."

Feeling sheepish, Shepard immediately apologized. She felt like a teenager trying to impress her girlfriend's dad and failing miserably at it.

"Ah fuck it… Truth is, I could introduce myself but… I don't want to hurt her… Goddess knows she doesn't deserve more pain after all she's gone through…"

Shepard's eyes fell to her glass she played with between her fingers. Aethyta was right. It was a sensitive situation, especially if Liara didn't want to know her 'father'. She also thought of all the unnecessary pain she'd put the maiden through herself. The glass was refilled again and they drunk together in contemplative silence.

Shepard tapped the bar and stood up, signaling her intent to leave. She suddenly had a strong desire to see the maiden that occupied both of their thoughts. "How about I ask if she wants to meet you?"

The asari nodded and cleared her throat, "I would appreciate that. But don't think it gets you off of my shit list just yet… she's my baby girl and I don't like assholes messing with her heart." The matriarch warned sternly.

A moment of understanding passed between the two. Shepard bowed her head and turned to leave as Aethyta began to clean up their glasses. If Liara wasn't on the Presidium, there was a good chance she was working on the Normandy. Hopefully butting into her personal life wouldn't set back the new ground she recently gained. Shepard wasn't sure if they were at the point yet in their fragile friendship that she could suggest meeting Aethyta. It really wasn't any of her business… she could only hope not to make Liara angry... again.


End file.
